Archive for the ‘Living with Ease’ Category

Control

May 6, 2009

While making arrangements for a trip, I found myself in a discussion about the fear of flying. Some people just won’t get into an airplane. There are various reasons that mostly boil down to control. A lot of people fell like they have to be in control of what is happening. What an interesting concept.

Perhaps it is one of those things at the root of most of the problems in the world. The need to feel in control of one’s circumstances is pervasive. The irony is that circumstance just happens. The formula for life is C+R=O. Circumstance plus Response equals Outcome (which becomes another Circumstance.) And on and on it goes. The only thing you can control in the equation is your Response to the circumstance and not the Circumstance itself.

An analogy would be driving your car. Most people who have a fear of flying would prefer driving a car to their destination. (It’s hard to drive to Hawaii but that’s a different topic.) When you are driving, you have control over two things – steering and speed. That’s it. You don’t give a thought to the mixture of gasoline and oil in the engine. Nor do you concern yourself with the pistons or cams. I don’t even know what a cam is although I’m told mine are overhead. Sounds ominous.

So, you really don’t control the overall car or the overall experience. You control the steering (where you are going) and the speed (how fast you sre going) and also your response to the experience.

I think the same is true of life. You get to control the steering and speed of your life and most importantly, your reaponse to the experience. So, here is a challenge for you. Give up the notion of total Control over your life and others’ lives and focus on control of the response to experience.