Goldman's Nuggests

Control

davidgoldman — Wed, 06 May 2009 12:13:11 +0000

While making arrangements for a trip, I found myself in a discussion about the fear of flying. Some people just won’t get into an airplane. There are various reasons that mostly boil down to control. A lot of people fell like they have to be in control of what is happening. What an interesting concept.

Perhaps it is one of those things at the root of most of the problems in the world. The need to feel in control of one’s circumstances is pervasive. The irony is that circumstance just happens. The formula for life is C+R=O. Circumstance plus Response equals Outcome (which becomes another Circumstance.) And on and on it goes. The only thing you can control in the equation is your Response to the circumstance and not the Circumstance itself.

An analogy would be driving your car. Most people who have a fear of flying would prefer driving a car to their destination. (It’s hard to drive to Hawaii but that’s a different topic.) When you are driving, you have control over two things – steering and speed. That’s it. You don’t give a thought to the mixture of gasoline and oil in the engine. Nor do you concern yourself with the pistons or cams. I don’t even know what a cam is although I’m told mine are overhead. Sounds ominous.

So, you really don’t control the overall car or the overall experience. You control the steering (where you are going) and the speed (how fast you sre going) and also your response to the experience.

I think the same is true of life. You get to control the steering and speed of your life and most importantly, your reaponse to the experience. So, here is a challenge for you. Give up the notion of total Control over your life and others’ lives and focus on control of the response to experience.

Heroes

davidgoldman — Tue, 05 May 2009 13:17:33 +0000

Do you have heroes? Some people idolize sports stars or movie stars. You may have seen the quiz on the Internet that asks you to name the past 5 or 10 Super Bowl Champions or World Series Champions, and most people are hard pressed to do it. Likewise, when asked to name the last 5 or 10 Oscar winners for Best Picture, Best Actor or Best Actress, few, if any, can name them.

There are other questions on the quiz, but you get the idea.

Then a really great (and important) question is asked. Name 5 or 10 teachers who have made a difference in your life. Almost everyone can think of five. I can name six who have had a significant impact on my life. Two were in elementary school. One was in high school. Two from undergraduate school and one from graduate school. How about you? How many can you think of?

Here is what all of them had in common. They all believed in me and my ability before I did. Their belief in me allowed me to reach beyond where I thought I could go. What a gift!

Now, I would like to go one step further and ask you to return the gift. Find your significant teachers and tell them. Write a “Thank you” note to them or call or email them to tell them that they made a difference in your life. You cannot believe what that will do for them. And for you.

Welcome to Goldman’s Nuggets

davidgoldman — Tue, 05 May 2009 13:11:35 +0000

Welcome to Goldman’s Nuggets, the blog of David Goldman. Me. I am a veteran coach and speaker for business owners, executives, leaders and salespeople. My website is www.goldmanorg.com.

Here you’ll find interesting anecdotes, useful advice and thoughtful discussions of topics relevant to business owners, executives, leaders and salespeople. I sincerely hope you’ll engage with me. Frankly, I’m more interested in “hearing” what you have to say than “being heard” myself.

So please do share with us.

-David